At least twice a week, I wish that I had time to go back to school.
The list of subjects that I want to know about includes (but isn't
limited to) engineering, physics, chemistry, history, and psychology.
The reason that I don't take the time is because as much as I want
to learn about damn near everything, I want to write even more.
Psychology, in particular, seems fun, and it has a more direct
application to writing than the other subjects. Way back when I
first discovered the Horror Writer's Association, I browsed through
their website and found an article written by Nancy Etchemendy
entitled 'Writers and Depression.' You can read it here,
http://www.horror.org/writetips/writetips-etchemendy.htm.
One of the points that the article makes is that the very nature of
writing, that is, sitting on your butt all day, working alone,
getting constant impersonal rejection, and the fact that few of your
friends or family seem to understand that what you're doing is real
work, can be pretty depressing by itself. Then there's the very real
possibility that creative types are a bit more prone to it than most.
I can't remember a solid source for that, so I'll leave it as a
maybe.
Also a maybe is the odd little thought that the writing process goes
through the same part of the brain that our negative emotions come
from. I went through a bunch of my books trying to pinpoint where I
heard that, and I couldn't find it. That's why it's a maybe. Expect
to hear this subject again when I find the source.
I mention it because it feels right, especially for what I write.
When I write the story about some coarse, greedy bastard who commits
one evil too many and dooms himself to live in terror for the rest of
his life, I'm tapping into the egotistical part of me that would
gleefully crush such a person under my heel, and I'm remembering
every person like that who I have encountered in real life. When I
write about hate, pain, loss, dread, and rage so hot it boils your
blood, I'm feeling them. Not the real things, understand, but some
safe-looking version, emotion by proxy. Now consider the following:
I write damn near everywhere I can get away with it. In the car, on
my lunch break, on my fifteen minute breaks, and often in between my
breaks. (Sorry Larry) Despite the fact that I know perfectly well
that I'm going to be interrupted, by the clock if nothing else, every
single time something or someone interrupts me, I really want to
scream at them to get the ---- out of my face. Maybe it's just part
of their personae, but when I think about the writers that inspire
me, the majority of them are known for some really negative traits.
Stephen King is a recovering addict, Robert E. Howard committed
suicide, and Harlan Ellison frequently channels his inner SOB.
Richard Matheson once wrote a book where a magician explains that the
audience is a hostile entity. Guess what? The writer can be one,
too. If he or she does it right, you'll never even notice.
Yet after going through all that, look at the result. The Shining,
The Bloodstained God, , Demon with a Glass Hand, and Hell House. Now
if those don't put a smile on your face, I don't know what will.
Because it's worth sharing: A DJ giving a weather report for us down
here in Houston today summed it up perfectly. 'Hotter than the
hinges of hell.'
Still writing.
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