If I haven't said it yet, I'd like this little place to be at least a bit 'family-friendly.' I have a wide range of 'colorful' language that I tap into all too often, and while I know what I really mean, someone reading this can't hear the little variations in my voice that keep me from sounding like I have an IQ of point eight. That's one of the limitations of the printed word.
That's the only reason this post doesn't start with the word F**K.
As you will have read, the first place to ever cough up precious dough for something I wrote was an e-zine called Absent Willow Review. I found them when searching on Duotrope, and while I have an inherent distrust of e-publishing, I liked them. They didn't buy stories, but I had been collecting a steady streak of rejections from most of the small list of places that did. I was getting depressed about the whole damn mess, especially when I submitted something and had to fill out a little bit about myself, because they always ask you to list the last couple of places that you have been published.
So I sent it in, and I had a few soul-searching mopes soon after. Once something is out, it's out. Goodbye First North American Anything rights. Did I mention that the list of places that buy reprints of horror fiction is even smaller?
When I got that e-mail saying they would be putting 'Roaming' up, I gasped like a soap-opera heroine. Then I went downstairs and shaved. (Don't ask. My wife asked, and I didn't have an answer) Then I printed out the e-mail, circled those magic words in red ink, and left it where my wife would find it when she got up, as it was then about one AM.
When I later got the OTHER e-mail, saying that my story had won their monthly editor's choice award, which would net me fifty dollars, oh boy, don't be anywhere in the room with me if being around the mentally unsound makes you nervous. That was IT. I had made money reaching into the little bag of nightmares in my head, and as of that moment, the world was a different place. It was mine.
Absent Willow Review has shut down.
Drop the F bomb? I will unleash a god-damned S**T-storm of thermonuclear F**K-nukes. I will spew venom at you, him, her, and innocent passers-by until everyone within a thousand miles is pumping blood from their ears. I will pull a Tarentino and carve the name of that blessed e-zine on the forehead of every poor SOB who looks at me with a puzzled expression because they never even heard of it.
All for nothing. It's gone. All those SOB's who never heard of it, can now never go check it out.
Upside? None that I can see right now. Gimmie a few days. It took me a bit just to be able to write this. Hopefully I can still say this place is 'Family Friendly.'
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